End Of October

ALMOST one month. I posted my last post on the first October, right before Gina's Birthday. Gina's Birthday didn't go well as it had planned. Because of, her OWN boy friend.

Ah, ah, sounds like this post will be like the other teenagers who talk about friends and his/her boy/girl-friend. No, no, I'm not going to do that again.

Well, actually I don't know what to write. Ah yeah! LDK. I was a participant, for the second LDK in my life. Some friends were same like my first LDK, but the rest, totally new friends. Quite sad and hard to believe when I had to admit that some active friends in school when I was in JHS, were not there. You should have known who are they.

I went to LDK with empty soul. I don't know, I think 'empty soul' can describe about myself that time. I kept my mouth shut. Saw some friends tagged some seats for their friends, and I ended up with no seat and no friend. Believe it or not, I was going to cry that time. LDK would be a new hell for me, instead of fun, happiness, and new experiences.

Luckily I found out that there was an empty seat beside Jojo. I sat around, put my stuffs off, and stared outside the window, straight to the sky. Bus moved, passed the Peninsula Hotel, which made my guts fell numb. Some tears were going to fall down but I shut my eyes quickly.

I still kept my mouth shut 'til I arrived at the right location. I went out with my stuffs and followed our instructor. It's no use if I tell you about first day activities. Let's talk about the second day. On the second day, we made our group. The instructor team has chosen our group mates, and I got Aldi as the captain, who's sitting at 11th grade, also Nia, Raden, and Dede, and on 10th grade, there were Abe, Claudia, Marcella, Lydia, Chester, Ivana, Grady, Tommy, Jastin, and me. Our group named 'Ijo Lumut', the abbreviation of 'Ikatan Jomblo Lucu dan Imut' even though we had Raden who's not single.

The group was totally silly but I must admit that Aldi was a good captain. He didn't care about score, or being the best group. He could evaluate our failures (I think my group was the worst group) but he didn't get mad at all if we failed in some (or almost all) games. He wanted us to have fun with LDK and have good memories about it. That was the way I respect him.

The silliness of my group has affected me to act silly even when I went back to school. Honestly it made me better because I didn't think too much about my failure in getting ASEAN Scholarship, and of course, about my friends. I can adapt better now.

But still, this scholarship-failure-matter has bothered me until now. I'm too easy to fall down, down because of that matter. People surroundings can't help much. Bradley said that I was a kind of person who can't be affected by people advices. I kinda agreed with that, but honestly I was upset with that fact. I just can be helped by myself. Then, I will feel so alone.

And, what are big activities in this month? AH! YEARBOOK! YEAR BOOK was finally finished by the publisher! I MADE IT, PEOPLE! I MADE IT! I kinda proud to see mine and my friends' masterpiece. When I looked inside, I found out that some pages' layouts have been moved by the publisher, and those were very fatal. I told Bradley about it and he got mad, of course. He had spent few nights to not to sleep, to edit the year book almost 10 times. 200 pages. No wonder he blurted out his curses on Lucky's wall. The clash is still running until now.

Talk about Lucky, I've promoted his album in school and guess what, it worked! I uploaded his hit, Buaya Cinta on 4shared and YouTube. He's famous now. Ah. Let's not talk about it in my post. It will ruin everything -_-

Exam week. I just finished my exam week last Friday. On Saturday, I slept over at school to make 'annual school programs' because I'm one of the school organization committees. Not that fun. Lack of sleep, yes.

I found out that few days to the end of October were bad enough for me. Honestly, no offense, friends, I feel like my best friends were disappeared. I knew they were not, but they've changed. One of them has changed because I broke a frame and I wanted to be honest. She misunderstood and I couldn't do nothing. One of them, I had no contact. One of them,... one of them has changed too.

I don't know who has changed. Me? You? He? She? Let's talk about present and continuous. Now or never. Here and now. No time for histories, memories, reveries, and dreams. Reality is happening. World has changed. My friends did. Will I?

I read Soe Hok Gie's journal when he was about to end his high school life. 'Let the forgotten be forgotten.' I fell uneasy to let all of those memories fade away, blew up like ashes, straight to the sky. But the fact is, all memories will and must be ended.

In this point, I really miss my friends, a lot. And guys, you three (I know there will only one person who read this), keknya gw trakir jalan ama lu pada uda tahun lalu. Percaya ga percaya.

That's for the end of October 2010. Here, Bradley. A new post to you :)